How Self-Affirmation Can Rebuild Your Confidence
When we receive feedback, we tend to lose our confidence. It doesn’t matter if the feedback is constructive or negative. Either way, it impacts us and makes us doubt ourselves.
Why is this? Well, research has proven that if we receive feedback on something we’re already unsure of, it will have a snowball effect. We will feel like we’re not good at anything.
This happened to me last year. I had just started writing a book, something I had never done before. I was really excited about it and had tons of content. One day, I told a colleague about it, and her reaction was not what I anticipated. She was really surprised I was writing a book. That one little comment came during a tough week, and I started questioning myself.
That week, I didn’t work on my book. Nor did I work on it the next week. I couldn’t get out of that negative mindset.
A few weeks later, I was driving home from a fantastic leadership development workshop with a great client. As I drove, I wrote (in my head!) the entire introduction for my book.
Without noticing, I used the confidence-boosting power of self-affirmation. When you’re in a rut, do something you’re really good at. You will regain lost confidence, which will affect the area you are doubting.
Another confidence-boosting trick is to reminisce. Think about something you did really well recently – where you were a total rock star. This will also help you believe in yourself.
Whatever you do to boost your confidence will also reduce your stress. And this ties back to neuroscience research. When your brain is in a calm state, you are more creative, open to feedback and better able to evaluate whether or not feedback is accurate.
Make a list of your strengths and things you do well. The next time your confidence is shaken, look at the list. Remind yourself of who you really are so you can work through the feedback in a positive, more self-aware way.