Improving Your EQ: How to Strengthen Self-Regard

When you look in the mirror what do you see? My hope is that you see someone strong and capable, a person who you respect deeply. However, having this positive mindset may seem like it’s easier said than done. The truth is, many of us have low self-regard, and, as a result, our emotional intelligence suffers.

If you’re ready to improve your self-regard and strengthen your EQ, then here are a few tips on how to start shifting your perception.

Quiet your inner critic

You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay

One way to increase self-regard is by squashing your inner critic. When it pipes up, quiet it down with more constructive thoughts. In fact, for every one negative thought, remind yourself of two positives. Over time, you’ll have more stock in the positive thoughts, and the resources for the self-critic will start to dry up.

End the comparison

Comparison is the death of joy.”  – Mark Twain

You’ve heard the saying about apples and oranges? While we may seem similar to our family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers, the truth is, we’re all very different. This is why comparing ourselves to others is never a good practice. There will always be people who you may perceive to be better, richer, faster or happier, but you never know the whole story. The only full story you really know is your own.

When you start to compare yourself to others, look at the progress you’ve made in your life instead. What have you accomplished? What have you done that you’re proud of? Remind yourself of these accomplishments.

Take self-appreciation breaks

I’ve finally stopped running away from myself. Who else is there better to be?” – Golden Hawn

If you find yourself overwhelmed, and the self-critic won’t stop rambling, take a break. Even the busiest person in the world can afford a 30-second self-love break. During this time, focus on the things you’ve accomplished and the wins in your life. Eventually, you’ll start to look at and value yourself in a whole new light.

Change your perception of failure

And a step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction.” – Kurt Vonnegut

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